Podgodz 308: Lax and Gio talk s
Recorded 27 November 2018
Decided to order my own presents this year
Cleared all backlogs
Enjoying No Agenda
80’s All over is better when an episode is 2 hours
Omnibus: Pumpkin Pie
Do By Friday: The Cool Table at the Magic Convention, The Saw Spa
Top Four: Woodland Creatures
Incomparable Game Show #99
Reconcilable Differences #91: Truck Stop Floor Mat
Incomparable #433: You Like Garbage (Thanksgiving Draft), #434” All Wormholes Go To Heaven (The Black Hole)
The Villain Edit
TV Guidance Counselor #328: Kevin Harrington
What is weird, I had not seen the movie but had seen the ending.
Did they kill the dog (Slash)
They abandon the dream sequences
The introduction makes no sense, this is after Christmas not the start of a new term
The hockey team idiot is 20, and looks 25. He is also amazingly funny on The Patriot.
WOMEN/GIRLS are not PROPERTY
Little brown people did not play hockey unless they grew up in Alaska.
The hockey game is as out of place as the surfing. For a ‘prep’ team they have shitty gear,
If this is a game, where are the refs and coaches?
So they just abandon him, passed out, on the ice. Nice. He even dreams about his dog, the one they put down when they moved.
Who takes a leisurely shower unrelated to gym and an extended crap with reading material AT SCHOOL.
Luckily it was an early spring in Cincinnati, it’s almost as if they relocated to Kentucky. This is 3 weeks after his arrival! So still January!
Weird diversion to the botanical garden and blue eyed soul boner jam #1. Where is the snow!
Gee, aren’t rollerblade brand inline skates SO MUCH cooler than skate boards and BMX’s? RADICAL
Sorry, I was paid for that interlude.
Another weird surfing interlude. Someone has a male foot fetish.
And now a fashion show interlude, the rare dude version. I’m too sexy for pants.
Enter Alanah Ubach sporting her factory original honker.
The car, if you are interested, is a Pontiac Phoenix version of a Chevy Citation, sold 1980-84. so far from a new car on filming.
Prep douches spoil everything.
I’m not sure that Jack is wearing enough layers. He appears tp be wearing two jackets and a vest.
Math does not compute. Been here 3 weeks. Leaving in 3 months, his parents were going for 6 months.
He went and ruined everything with his pretty mouth!
Why did no one know Nikki was his sister? She goes to the same school and should have the same name. How much younger is she supposed to even be?
He dreams of surfing and looking at his own feet.
Time for roller hockey, or contractural obligation #3.
So many sheets of plywood to conveniently skate over all the gravel patches!
He’s so good at roller hockey she just had a little orgasm.
Now he’s one of them!
Aggressive inline skating, or contractual obligation #4, racing the Devil’s Backbone.
Okay. How did they all get on top of the hill? Why is the “I won’t be skinny for no man” black girl the starter? Is her father the bus driver and she borrowed it to get them all there?
Sorry, but the ending choreography is week and the shooting removes the feeling of speed and danger. Perhaps because of contractural obligation #4?
Also how the fuck does surfer Johnny even know where he is going? It’s also a shame they couldn’t find a single skate Betty?
So Blaine drowned, right?
So, how did it work out for them?
Surfer Johnny knocks up not Jodie Sweetin. He sells his board, blades, and gear for a car seat after blowing out his knees. He ends up driving a dump truck hauling asphalt scrapings until he had a massive coronary in 2010, and in the process t-boned a school bus, knocking it into the river where they all drowned. Jodie Sweetin has an affair with Blaine, whose uncle owned the trucking company, so that Surfer Johnny gets hired, and keeps his job. To dull the pain she started taking opiates and died of an accidental overdose last year. Their 3 kids then went to live with uncle Jack, who is now out of the closet, and runs an athletic centre in a predominately refugee neighbourhood.
Gloria got a nose job, moved to Hollywood, and became a occasional Mexican. Wiley is still living in his parents basement where he is a semi-professional online poker player and Q-anon conspiracy enthusiast.
RIP Aggressive Inline skating: 1995-2005
Did this movie pass the Bechdel Test: Oh hell no.
Rosehaven S1 and 2
MST3K Season 12
The Hollowmen S1 and 2
Mitchell and Webb
House of Cards?
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Time to put the Crown Royal sack back on the microphone.
Music Provided by Rucka Rucka Ali, Check out his work at RukasWorld and possibly commission him for your next project.